I am at a bit of a crossroads here, regarding one thing in particular.

Before I get into it, I want to state how weird that is for me. Both parts of that first sentence. How weird it is to be at any sort of well-defined “crossroads,” for one thing, and for that to be about any one thing in particular. Until maybe, I don’t know, this most recent August, decisions were made spur-of-the-moment, and they were never made about one thing at a time. It was like tossing confetti in the air and grabbing a handful of it and just…going.

This is how I decided in one day to change my major and move five hours away from home to go to a different college. This is how I ended up where I am now, at this crossroads, realizing that where I am is exactly the opposite of where I want to be. It is precisely where I do not want to be and the decision is not becoming any easier – the answer is not becoming any clearer as the days go by, and I am not used to spending this much time in limbo over this kind of thing.