This post has nothing to do with dodgeball.

I haven’t used this website in a very long time, because I haven’t been able to think of much to write. When I sit down and concentrate for more than five seconds (this, usually, means turning the tv and lights off and trying to breathe like a normal human being), I realize that for the past few months, I’ve been doing the same thing, over and over and over again.

And that? That’s avoiding thinking about growing up.

But whatever. I fill my days with video-camera fun and driving around in a car that doesn’t really like me. I’ve got friends in all corners (does WV have corners?) of the state, and despite the fact that I suck at commitment and being a friend, I am totally comfortable with where I am right now.

That’s why I don’t like to think about the next few years. The fact that I’ve been a student at three different colleges, and even more instances of wavering in terms of WHAT I want to be studying at those colleges sometimes makes me want to give up altogether. I know if I had to, I’d be able to survive in a fast food world (even though my 1-day-long job at Burger King says otherwise), but do I really want to do that? More important (and expensive) question: do I want to be an English teacher? A therapist? A writer? A computer programmer? At several points in the last two years, I’ve considered all of these, and the one I’ve stuck by is “English teacher.” It’s what made me decide to transfer to Shepherd, but one of the things that made me decided to transfer FROM Shepherd a semester later was the fact that I didn’t know if I wanted to be an English teacher after all.

Now..I’m still not sure. I’m not sure I want to be sure. I think if I keep on keeping on in the mindset I am right now, I can get my degree, and I can have that to fall back on if I decide to do something else.

Not that I have an endless supply of money or anything, but I know that school is there for me to take advantage of, and if I walk away with three degrees and a huge pile of colleges on my record, it’s just gonna be more stories to tell, and the one thing I’m positive about is that that is exactly what I need.

With that out of the way, I’m going to go watch zombie movies. The living dead are always more entertaining with an academically lighter heart. =)